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How Do I Tell Family I Can No Longer Care for An Elderly Parent?

It is difficult enough as a caregiver to provide what is needing for an aging loved parent. Errands, hygiene, and other duties will begin to add up as your parent continues to age. It is a difficult decision to make but when you can no longer provide the level of care to your elderly parent, it is time to discuss care options with the family.

It’s OK To Acknowledge Your Limits

There are a lot of feelings that come into play as a caregiver that has reached their care limits. You will have feelings of failing your elderly parent that you can no longer care for them. Guilt will also creep into your thoughts that it is somehow your fault that your elderly parent won’t be able to live “at home” anymore.

Before you even discuss the need to move your elderly parent into an assisted living facility with siblings, take a second to adjust your feelings toward the decision. View the change as just a new way of providing the level of care that your elderly parent needs that you are no longer able to provide. The heart of your decision is to always have your elderly parent receive the care that they need to have a long and extended life.

Understand All Parties Will Be Affected

Even if you are the primary caregiver, it likely won’t just be you that is affected by moving your elderly parent into an assisted living facility. You might have siblings that display immediate signs of resentment towards you because they realize that they will need put in more time towards the caregiving process.

You should also be prepared for past issues between siblings to possibly come out during the initial discussion about moving your elderly parent to assisted living. One example of this could be if one of your siblings took care of your elderly parent after an injury and perceived none of the other siblings helped during that time. They might feel you didn’t put in as much effort or have a feeling of resentment because of that. It is ok to acknowledge that feeling but always be moving towards the goal of getting the best care for your loved one.

We Are in This Together

Senior Living Specialists has worked with thousands of families throughout Texas and had a variety of experiences with families struggling with elderly care for their parent(s). If you have been the primary caregiver to your elderly parent and determined that they now need a new level of care, be collaborative in your communication. You might not realize it but when you say things like, “I am moving our parent to assisted living” it makes others feel excluded from the decision process.

Try to stay focused on collaborative communication and utilize “we” instead of “I”. You can also facilitate their feedback by asking their thoughts and opinions to make everybody feel involved. It can be helpful that if you believe the process could have tension to have a third party involved. Senior Living Specialists have worked with families during this process and can act as an independent third party to make the process as easy as possible.

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